Galaxy Cruise: The Maiden Voyage

Humanity needed a hero. It got a karaoke DJ.
Leo MacGavin is not the brightest specimen of humanity, but when he inadvertently rescues a flirty alien heiress, he’s promoted from second-rate lounge entertainer to captain of the galaxy’s most sophisticated cruise ship.
Before he can flee in terror, a human-hating executive gives Leo an ultimatum: complete the vessel’s maiden voyage or mankind’s last colony will be turned into a sewage dump. To make matters worse, a militant cyborg is undermining his authority, a giant spider is terrifying the passengers, and a sentient plant keeps stealing all the beer.
If Leo ever wants to see his home again, he’ll have to keep the guests happy through seven days of onboard antics and madcap shore excursions. As strange malfunctions tear the ship apart, can he hold his rag-tag crew together, or will he flush the last bastion of humanity down the crapper?
The Maiden Voyage is a hilarious sci-fi comedy adventure. It includes a bonus story, Language Barrier.