Narrator Spotlight: Jeffrey Kafer

Jeffrey has 2 degrees in cinema and broadcasting and spent the first part of his career as a video game tester for Microsoft before following his true passion of acting. He’s been on stage since he was 13 (his mom still has the bellhop costume she made) and currently lives in Los Angeles with his family and dog. Learn more at Audiobook-voice-over.com. You can browse all of Jeffrey’s Podium Audio titles by visiting his performer page here.

As a tradition in our spotlight series, we had Jeffrey answer a few out-of-the-box questions for fun:

Q. What weird food combinations do you really enjoy?
Pepperoni and pineapple pizza. I know this is horribly controversial and a likely deal-breaker. At this point, my reputation is so hideous that Podium Audio should reconsider hiring me and issue a damage-control press release disavowing me and pulling all my titles. I wonder if I can be a barista?

Q. What’s the funniest word in the English language?
ASCII, because I heard that someone (R.C. Bray) said it wrong in a book that he did and that someone (Bray) had to re-record all instances of it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Q. If someone narrated your life, who would you want to be the narrator?
RC Bray. If I can’t narrate my own life, then I want someone who is highly over-rated and yet, lesser in ability. That would be Bray, as we can all agree. (love you, Bob! #Bromance #Brayfer)

Q. What part of a kid’s movie completely scarred you?
The Elephant Man scared the shit out of me. I mean, have you SEEN what that guy looked like? Holy crap! Wait, that wasn’t a kid’s movie? I seriously need to have a chat with my parents.

Q. What’s your favorite smell in the whole world?
Vanilla. Oh, you were looking for more? Like the smell of a walk through a bed of tulips in bloom? Or the memory of my young children’s hair after it had been freshly washed? Yeah, those are nice. But I really like Vanilla.

Q. What’s your favorite childhood book?
Boy’s Life by Robert McCammon. A true coming of age story about the horrors of history and a relationship between father and son. No, I’m not crying. YOU’RE crying.

Q. What movie would be greatly improved if it was made into a musical?
Citizen Kane. Can you imagine? I even wrote some lyrics for the title song called “I’m a Rich Man”. Wanna see them? Of course, you do! Maestro, give me a 4/4 time beat in G Major, keep it peppy!

I’m a rich man who misses his mother.
I’m a rich man with a really huge bed!
I keep saying the word Rosebud,
In the end it’s just a stupid sled!

Oh sorry. Spoiler alert. Should have said that before. Oopsie.

Q. If you could time travel, when would you go?
I would travel back just a few minutes to make sure the Libyans don’t get revenge for stealing the Plutonium that powers the time machine. But, of course, the clock would be set to 1955 and I’d meet my mother who would fall in love with me and I’d have to convince her to fall in love with my fath— OMG that is so creepy. HOW DID THAT GET MADE INTO A MOVIE??

Q. What is the best piece of advice you’ve received?
So I didn’t receive it personally, but I heard Mark Cuban say “Perfection is the enemy of Profitability”. I’m sure he stole that from somewhere else, but whatevs. I think we all get in our own way sometimes and even those who claim to be perfectionists have a level of “good enough” that they aspire to. I mean, except Podium titles! I always give at least 80% effort to those.

Q. Which movie sequel do you wish you could erase from history?
I shall not name it. Because it doesn’t exist. There are only 3 Indiana Jones films.

Love the awesome artwork? Enjoy this timelapse of artist César Moreno creating this unique portrait.